the wings that you burn turn to ashes, my dear

It just occurred to me that this fic I’m reading is something I wrote 20 years ago.

Twenty.

Fucking.

YEARS.

Ago.

I can still remember what pens I used, how they felt in my hands, what they looked like. It was 2001 and they were full of glitter and it’s so hard to read my writing now, but I loved them. I collected these stories in an old math binder. The pages are ripped out of a spiral notebook and collated so they’re in order. Glitter still gets on my fingers when I turn the pages.

When we think about how we learn to write, and how hard we are on ourselves for not being “good enough,” remember that the only way we get better is to practice. At 16, I felt like I knew everything about writing and this was the best thing I’d ever done. At the time, it was.

Even if your old stuff is cringey, even if you’re not proud of it - it’s yours. You wrote that. Hang on to all of it so an older you can see how far you’ve come. Progress looks different for everyone.

The important part is not giving up.

This week has fucking sucked.

My house has a bunch of current issues - namely, $8000 of mold damage in the attic and ice dam damage in the kitchen. Our homeowners insurance will cover the ice dams, but not the mold, because it's from a design flaw (a vent that was built too small for the amount of moisture that's up there) and not something that happened to the house. Processing this has been... difficult, to say the least. Our house is only five years old, and while the ice dam sucks, that can be fixed. To be told that we'd be better off suing the builder is really, really shitty, and I lose faith in humanity every time I think about it. At least they cannot kick us off our insurance because of it - to my knowledge, anyway. Watch that notice be in the mail already too.

The one good thing is that my dad can likely help us fix the vent in question, though it does mean I have to climb up in the creepy, mold-filled attic tomorrow to get pictures for him. I can also take out and replace the insulation myself, which will save labor costs. It's a shitty job, but I don't have $8000 to just give someone either, so it's got to be done. Likely we won't be able until the attic dries out, and that shouldn't be until April sometime.

In writing news, I did finish With These Hungry Eyes, a Steve Rogers/OFC fic for a songfic challenge on tumblr. It got out of hand at 18k, and not what I originally set out to write, but I kinda like where it's at. Hopefully it will be back from beta this weekend for me to post.

Aaaaaand I may be rewriting my old Power Rangers fic to fit the 2017 canon. I've been tossing around ideas with Matt at work and super excited to see what comes of it... only to look at the very first page for the fandom at AO3 and there's something exactly fucking like it right at the top. Granted, I haven't read it and I'm not going to, but fuck if that doesn't just take the wind out of your sails. ._.

Jon's also been sick all week, and trying to fight off a migraine now. Which means that I got the weekend off and no help with the kids, so it's less relaxing than I hoped. I'm hoping the stronger meds they gave him start to kick in soon so he can start feeling better, poor guy.

I bought two bags of jelly beans today. One is already almost gone. I also haven't written yet today and that's a problem. Guess I still have a few hours to figure that out, but we all know I'm going to basically stare at a blank screen instead.

Is it ridiculous just to buy a paid account to have more icons for all of your random ass projects?

Asking for a friend.